My Story
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"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." - Jimmy Dean
I have stepped into the light, and I'm here to stay. The journey to this point has not been easy however. It's taken years of stepping into the light, getting a glimpse of what it's like, feeling joyful moments and then stepping back into the darkness, feeling despair and losing hope once again. It has been a long process of practicing trust, surrender and the art of letting go. Learning tools along the way on how to cope, overcome and live. Connecting to the present moment and slowing down. Getting comfortable in my own skin which has been no easy task. Breathing deeply and completely, staying honest and making amends daily. And most of all practicing gratitude and learning to choose love instead of fear. I feel complete, but I know I'm not finished and there's always space to grow. 15 years of drug and alcohol addiction, 15 years of crushing my mind, body and soul over-and-over again. Many, many failed attempts. Have you ever tried to quiet something and failed, if so, you know how devastating this can be, right? After a while we start to lose hope. I've always loved the “party,” life. Even from childhood, gathering the neighbor kids together to play backyard games to my young adulthood having a passion for live music concerts and festivals. These things made me happy and brought me joy, joy as I knew it at the time. But, along with the live music scene also came the drugs and the alcohol, which I discovered pretty quickly I had absolutely no control over. Through many attempts at sobriety, AA meetings, outpatient programs and the support of loved ones, especially my mother, I started to learn new ways to find that joy without the drugs or alcohol. I slowly began to peel back the layers, but... I kept going back. I knew in my heart that the party lifestyle wasn't my true path but I wasn't ready to let go. |
Things began to shift internally for me when I was introduced me to yoga. I started to experience the inner peace I was looking for, holding onto that feeling for longer and longer periods of time. My love for yoga grew so strong that in 2013 I signed up for my 200-hour yoga teacher training program with the beautiful Meg Galarza and my life was forever changed. During this time of self-discovery and diving deep I started to peel back the layers and discover the Emily that I remembered before all of the conditioning happened from growing up in society and the poison of the drugs and alcohol. I was sober for 6 months, had a new outlook on life, and was excited about my new career path but for some reason I continued to dabble in the party life, I STILL wasn't completely ready. Maybe you know the feeling?
Periods of sobriety allowed me to follow my dream of moving to San Diego, California, I taught yoga by the ocean and I met an amazing man! We began to co-create a beautiful life together. We started to manifest some pretty incredible things and this is when the magic started to unfold. Things were definitely starting to get better. I was able to let go of the drugs completely but was still hanging onto the monthly “night out,” that always ended up in a disaster. It was not pretty. I was living this life as a beautiful, spiritual, inspiring yoga teacher but not truly living a very authentic yogic lifestyle. Until one night, I crossed all the boundaries, I went out and made some terrible decisions which had some major consequences. It was bad, most of which I don't even remember because I was extremely blacked out. The next morning I realized... This is NOT me. This is no longer fun, and the person I become... I don't even know who that is. I know I'm here on this planet to do more and that's not going to happen until I let go completely. And so... I waved the white flag and said, “I surrender.” I felt a lightness come over me knowing that I was finally done with the battle. It was time to put the pieces back together and begin my path to the blissful life I had been yearning for.
Periods of sobriety allowed me to follow my dream of moving to San Diego, California, I taught yoga by the ocean and I met an amazing man! We began to co-create a beautiful life together. We started to manifest some pretty incredible things and this is when the magic started to unfold. Things were definitely starting to get better. I was able to let go of the drugs completely but was still hanging onto the monthly “night out,” that always ended up in a disaster. It was not pretty. I was living this life as a beautiful, spiritual, inspiring yoga teacher but not truly living a very authentic yogic lifestyle. Until one night, I crossed all the boundaries, I went out and made some terrible decisions which had some major consequences. It was bad, most of which I don't even remember because I was extremely blacked out. The next morning I realized... This is NOT me. This is no longer fun, and the person I become... I don't even know who that is. I know I'm here on this planet to do more and that's not going to happen until I let go completely. And so... I waved the white flag and said, “I surrender.” I felt a lightness come over me knowing that I was finally done with the battle. It was time to put the pieces back together and begin my path to the blissful life I had been yearning for.
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It didn't take long and life started to get pretty awesome. Within 30 days I was engaged to the man of my dreams (literally) and a year later we got married at the serene wedding venue that we had built together. I had a step daughter, Arya whom I loved so much and my cup was overflowing with gratitude and I could not believe how well things were going. Don't get me wrong, of course life has thrown curve balls and it hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns but I finally felt like Emily, the true me.
We moved to Arizona, bought 20 acres and we began our dream of building a rustic wedding venue/wellness retreat which was called Ananda Retreat. We opened for weddings in May 2018 and made plans to have the retreat up and running by 2020. Even with the excitement and success of opening a business and celebrating 1 year sobriety, challenges of living out in the county arose... I was having a difficult time transitioning to this new life being an hour away yoga studios and community. My yoga practice began to suffer, my caffeine addiction was out of control and I also found myself turning to food when I was stressed or unhappy. I could feel my mind, body and soul becoming unbalanced. I was slowly being pulled farther and farther away from the true, real bliss and that peaceful state which felt so incredible. I still felt like I was searching and not feeling fully content. I said yes to myself and I attended my first ever transformational women's retreat in Sedona, Arizona and the shifts I was hoping for happened so naturally I was catapulted into bliss! I was feeling so free, incredibly happy, abundant and at peace. I came to realize that THIS... this is the gift I'm here to share. I've been spiritually so low, so high and everywhere in between. |
I began to lead transformational retreats in Sedona, to create a beautiful and safe space to bring women together to gather, heal, celebrate and grow through yoga, meditation, nature, nourishing food, aromatherapy, sharing-circles, ceremony, sound healing, adventure, song and dance. My intention is that each woman will experience a shift of some sort, learn a few things, and meet other women that will make a positive impact in their quality of life so they can live in authenticity, abundance and bliss every day! I'm excited to share these experiences with those that are open and willing to take this time for themselves, who are eager to feel this peace and join me as we walk together in the light!
At some point after my first retreat I started to feel like I "deserved," a drink, I had been working SO hard! I'll spare you the messy details but one night I got incredibly drunk by myself. After over a year of sobriety and all that I had cultivated. The next day when I was extremely sick.. I waved the white flag for what I HONESTLY think was my LAST time. I do NOT deserve to do that to Emily. Emily deserves WAY better than that!
And so it was.. I began my journey in sobriety coaching and have been coaching women on their sobriety journey ever since. Over the 4 years I've been offering powerful 1:1 coaching and running my signature program, called Recovery Revival which is a Sobriety Group Coaching Journey for women which is for those with 2 days, 2 months or 2+ years of sobriety and is designed to take your life in sobriety to the next level. The ladies who participate have been wildly successful! It's amazing what we can do when we come together, right? This program is for individuals new to sobriety and also those in long term recovery craving connection and a little recovery boost! I've successfully taken almost 100 women through this program and the majority of them are still sober to this day!
On January 6th, 2023 I celebrated 4 years of continuous sobriety which also happens to be my Mother's sobriety date, who celebrated 23 years! I think I'll keep this one.. it's KINDA special! The desire to drink has faded away and I'm extremely grateful to have helped many, many individuals find their own path to recovery.
Life still gets LIFEY.. and last year, 2022 was a trip. What I thought was a "dream life," began to crumble as my struggling marriage fell apart and my husband left me for another woman and even though he promised he wouldn't he cut off all contact with my step daughter, whom I love so dearly. Still, I've stayed sober. I felt the feels. ALL of them.. and now, I have come out on the other side. Not only do I have a new tool on my tool-belt: "Survived a Nasty Divorce." I am feeling MORE freedom than I ever have in my life.. feeling SINGLE- happy, sober and free! I sold my retreat property in the middle of nowhere, packed up my 3 big dogs and moved back to Wisconsin for 6 months to be with my family as my father is struggling with many health issues including cancer.
I recently bought a home in Sedona, a dream of mine and am excited to host retreats again! I'm also partnering with the founder of Goddess Yoga International and will be hosting Goddess Yoga Retreats for the Happy, Sober, Free community.
I have a deep passion to continue to grow, learn and stretch myself in 2020 I completed an intense four month Leadership Training Program with Heartcore Business that gave me clarity on my mission and the confidence I felt I was lacking and in 2021 I completed the CCAR Recovery Coach Training. This year, I have joined the Fit For Service cohort and have been experiencing major healing from the divorce and personal growth and development. In addition, I was lucky enough to attend a life-changing workshop with Alexi Panos and Preson Smiles down in Austin and I think I found my new mentors. I am grateful for this journey and think I might have a new addiction.. personal development!!
If there's one thing I have learned over the 15 years of struggling is that we are not ready until we are ready AND that connection, community and accountability along with SOME sort of spirituality and health and wellness are essential for sobriety success!
ARE YOU READY?
At some point after my first retreat I started to feel like I "deserved," a drink, I had been working SO hard! I'll spare you the messy details but one night I got incredibly drunk by myself. After over a year of sobriety and all that I had cultivated. The next day when I was extremely sick.. I waved the white flag for what I HONESTLY think was my LAST time. I do NOT deserve to do that to Emily. Emily deserves WAY better than that!
And so it was.. I began my journey in sobriety coaching and have been coaching women on their sobriety journey ever since. Over the 4 years I've been offering powerful 1:1 coaching and running my signature program, called Recovery Revival which is a Sobriety Group Coaching Journey for women which is for those with 2 days, 2 months or 2+ years of sobriety and is designed to take your life in sobriety to the next level. The ladies who participate have been wildly successful! It's amazing what we can do when we come together, right? This program is for individuals new to sobriety and also those in long term recovery craving connection and a little recovery boost! I've successfully taken almost 100 women through this program and the majority of them are still sober to this day!
On January 6th, 2023 I celebrated 4 years of continuous sobriety which also happens to be my Mother's sobriety date, who celebrated 23 years! I think I'll keep this one.. it's KINDA special! The desire to drink has faded away and I'm extremely grateful to have helped many, many individuals find their own path to recovery.
Life still gets LIFEY.. and last year, 2022 was a trip. What I thought was a "dream life," began to crumble as my struggling marriage fell apart and my husband left me for another woman and even though he promised he wouldn't he cut off all contact with my step daughter, whom I love so dearly. Still, I've stayed sober. I felt the feels. ALL of them.. and now, I have come out on the other side. Not only do I have a new tool on my tool-belt: "Survived a Nasty Divorce." I am feeling MORE freedom than I ever have in my life.. feeling SINGLE- happy, sober and free! I sold my retreat property in the middle of nowhere, packed up my 3 big dogs and moved back to Wisconsin for 6 months to be with my family as my father is struggling with many health issues including cancer.
I recently bought a home in Sedona, a dream of mine and am excited to host retreats again! I'm also partnering with the founder of Goddess Yoga International and will be hosting Goddess Yoga Retreats for the Happy, Sober, Free community.
I have a deep passion to continue to grow, learn and stretch myself in 2020 I completed an intense four month Leadership Training Program with Heartcore Business that gave me clarity on my mission and the confidence I felt I was lacking and in 2021 I completed the CCAR Recovery Coach Training. This year, I have joined the Fit For Service cohort and have been experiencing major healing from the divorce and personal growth and development. In addition, I was lucky enough to attend a life-changing workshop with Alexi Panos and Preson Smiles down in Austin and I think I found my new mentors. I am grateful for this journey and think I might have a new addiction.. personal development!!
If there's one thing I have learned over the 15 years of struggling is that we are not ready until we are ready AND that connection, community and accountability along with SOME sort of spirituality and health and wellness are essential for sobriety success!
ARE YOU READY?